'I feel really taken advantage of': Roommate moves out, ditching responsibilities and leaving best friend stuck caring for four fussy cats

Author image for Sarah Brown
Sarah Brown • Writer and Editor
May 31, 2025 4:00 PM EDT

Living with a friend can test any relationship, but throw in four cats and a flaky relocation plan, and it's a recipe for resentment. One roommate moved in under the assumption that they'd share responsibilities temporarily while the lease wound down. But when the original tenant began spending most of her time at her girlfriend's place and left her four cats behind, the situation spiraled into something entirely different.

The cats, particularly the long-haired ones, aren't low maintenance: they vomit frequently, suffer from separation anxiety, and require daily care. Yet the owner, unemployed and unwilling to board them, simply announced her plan to leave them with her roommate, offering minimal support and brushing off concerns. Despite having her own cat, the roommate is now expected to take care of four more animals in a small shared space, with the promise of nothing but howling in return.

This isn't just inconsiderate. It's exploitative. Pet ownership is a responsibility, not something to casually offload onto friends without consent. Feeling taken advantage of here isn't overreacting; it's recognizing a boundary that's been bulldozed. Friendship or not, this is a major breach of trust and respect.

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  • 01
    'I end up as default caretaker'
    via Panyawatt / Canva

    Disclaimer: This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I moved in with my best friend last year. She has 4 cats-2 long- haired and 2 short-haired. The long-haired ones have constant problems with hairballs and frequently throw up.
    via u/Spiritual_Finish9561
  • 03
    Last year, a couple months after I moved in, she told me she wouldn't be renewing the lease because she and her girlfriend plan to move outside the US. Since the move was still a year away, I helped find someone else to take over the lease when the time came. This new person agreed to stay on the couch and pay partial rent in the interim, and both my friend and I agreed.
    via u/Spiritual_Finish9561
  • 04
    Cheezburger Image 10511386112
    via aliaksandrbarysenka / Canva

    Disclaimer: This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 05
    Unfortunately, she has not been able to make any real movement on an international move and she's been staying at her girlfriend's place for 3-4 days at a time without any communication, leaving me stuck taking care of her cats. She doesn't often warn me before she does this and so I end up as default caretaker to ensure her
    via u/Spiritual_Finish9561
  • 06
    cats are taken care of. She recently said that once the new roommate signs the lease, she'll be at her girlfriend's most of the time because her girlfriend's lease runs through October-but her girlfriend's roommates don't want the cats there. So she told me she'd just leave them with me for those few months because they're "low maintenance"
    via u/Spiritual_Finish9561
  • 07
    (they're not, and they get major separation anxiety, vomit constantly, and once the new roommate has moved into the bedroom, they will be pretty much sequestered to the living room and kitchen- which is a very small space).
    via u/Spiritual_Finish9561
  • 08
    I feel really taken advantage of. She doesn't want to board them because it's expensive and she's unemployed, but I never agreed to be a full-time caretaker for 4 extra cats. She said she'd "come by about once a week to clean the litter box," but that still leaves me with the daily responsibility for them. For context, I do have
    via u/Spiritual_Finish9561
  • 09
    Cheezburger Image 10511385600
    via Lucy_Ost / Canva

    Disclaimer: This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 10
    one cat of my own, but I chose to only have one because I knew that's all I could handle. When I expressed concern abou her cats not having much space she said that me and the new roommate would just need to get used to them howling. Which seems both cruel to the cats and also completely unfair to me and the new roommate.
    via u/Spiritual_Finish9561
  • 11
    Am I overreacting in feeling taken advantage of? This person has been my friend for a decade but didn't even ask if I'd be okay with this- just said that this was her plan. I feel like I am being cornered into being an unpaid full-time pet sitter with no option to say no.
    via u/Spiritual_Finish9561
  • 12
    nursepenguin36 Tell her she has one week to find a place for the cats or off to a shelter they go. I have serious doubts that they have plans to ship four cats overseas. She probably thinks she will just leave them with you indefinitely while they "figure things out."
    via u/nursepenguin36

  • Best friend or not, it’s time to have a serious conversation. She can’t just dump her cats on you and vanish. Her pets, her responsibility. Friendship doesn’t mean free labor.

     

     

     

  • 13
    LaundryMimi You are not overreacting. Tell her that you are not taking on this responsibility and she needs to come up with another solution that doesn't involve you.
    via u/LaundryMimi
  • 14
    thaddeusk Few pets are actually "low maintenance". Scooping litter boxes, cleaning fur off of your clothes, cleaning up vomit, food, water, etc. all adds up to a lot of work.
    via u/thaddeusk

  • Cats might not need daily walks, but they're far from “low maintenance.” Hairballs, anxiety, and constant cleanup? That’s a full-time job, not a casual favor.

  • 15
    FarOutLakes once a week to clean how many litterboxes for FOUR cats! yeesh. 4 cats is a once a day job.
    via u/FarOutLakes
  • 16
    Emotional_Bonus_... Tell her if she's not around to care for the cats they need to move because they're not your responsibility and you don't agree to care for them
    via u/Emotional_Bonus_934
  • 17
    Maleficent-Garden... NTA-Give her a date and time to have them picked up or you're taking them to animal shelter. This is exactly what I would do
    via u/Maleficent-Garden585

  • Not your circus, not your furballs! You signed up for one cat, not a feline daycare. Her whiskered responsibilities shouldn’t become your problem! Time to claw back your space!

  • 18
    Acrobatic_Ad5722 I might be wrong but doesn't this count as abandonment?
    via u/Acrobatic_Ad5722
  • 19
    Hipgram-4 H I No! Take them to the pound! "you and the roomate will just have to get used to them howling?!!" How about, "you'll have to get used to your cats at the pound!"
    via u/Hipgram-4
  • 20
    Bratasaurusrex Flat-out tell her, record it if you have to, that you will not be taking care of them moving forward. They either need to go with her when she stays elsewhere or you'll be taking them to a shelter/rehoming them. You are not a free pet sitter or a cleaner.
    via u/Bratasaurusrex
  • 21
    Odd-Breadfruit-9... NTA put them in a crate and leave them at her new place
    via u/Odd-Breadfruit-9541

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fight cat owners feline argument pawrents roommates Cats apartment best friends
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